Tuesday, February 16, 2010

"On Losing" or "On Dating Down" or "On 'Jesus He is Not As Attractive As Her'"

I people watch. I am friends with people watchers. We watch people together. And sometimes we play games.

In parks we see if people actually match their dogs. At cafes we look at couples and decide who is the loser and who is the winner. I'll define:

The Loser: The person who is, for all shallow purposes, more attractive, probably smarter, and/or cooler. Also the one who has more friends.

The Winner: The inferior of the pair who has somehow been blessed with money or a good heart or the psychotic break/blindness of their partner.

You play this game long enough and you start to notice a trend. Girls lose so often and they lose bad. It gets so much more tragic when you move beyond the game. You begin to understand that this silly game is emblematic of life. You think of your friends who cry over losers (in this game winners). I mean guys who were, are, and will be, losers in life. And then with the slow, horrifying suspense of a nouvelle vague film you turn the glaring spotlight on your past relationship.

Flash to Adam: The harry potter look-a-like who you aren't entirely convinced didn't have a girlfriend. Who you met at the library. Who crossed his legs like a british librarian. Who broke up with you through email. Friend quote: "at least it wasn't a post-it"

Bang. Adrian: The High School Prom date "Hottie" who hooked up with that big-breasted but small-bodied girl, in a hot tub, in front of your whole class...on prom night.

Oh the loser list goes on.

More importantly, there are societal effects of losing badly. A guy, who at one point knew he could not date above a certain level, attains that level. His ego inflates. He understands that he might use and abuse the women of the afore long-shot level and he aspire for more.

You give an inch...

What does this do to all the women he will hereafter encounter? It makes him more attractive. His confidence becomes engorged with chest-beating-egocentric-testosterone and he, emboldened by girlfriends past, Tarzans his way to the top of the dating ladder throwing women down as he ascends.

Something must be done.

(to be contd....)

****Oh and Shout out to Ma Girl Megan.  Without her this article would not have been made possible****


  1. i love that right before i read this post (to which i must claim party to) the song "is she really going out with him" became stuck in my head. love you.

  2. If there is a trend, then there is a cause. Might be worth investigating. Also, do these guys who are "winners" go on to be bigger "winners", stay at the same winning level, or become "losers"?