Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hair Happens.

It's strange to realize that I haven't known some of you for that long.  So many of you have not actually seen me with long hair.  Sidenote: I'm close to certain that I'll be one of those old ladies who has the same haircut at 80 as she did at 13.  Anyway, I know I make my hair a hot topic on my own agenda.  But lets be honest, I have help.

Questions I've been asked:

Has your hair ever been long?  
Yeah.  Not only was I born with a natural flat top I was unable to grow hair longer than wisps on the sides of my head for the first year of my life.  8 inches of flat top in the '80's was where it was at.

Why do you keep your hair so short?  
Because if it gets long the terrorists win.

What happened?  

It's been a rough day? 
No.  what do you mean?

Comments that have been made:

Dude, Your hair is  fucked. up.
You look like a love child between 

Al Sharpton

And Don King.

Not to mention this conversation:

A: Your hair looks really nice today.
Me: Really?  I was just thinking it's kind of fucked up right now.
A: Hmm, Well I think it looks better than usual.

My beef isn't  of the Good Hair -too curly-too kinky-back to slavery variety.  It's more of the West Side Story knife-fight-while-I-pada-beret variety.  As in, I'm almost entirely convinced that the strands are conspiring to take me down like Steven Segal takes down Curiously-White Ninja #4.  

I know most women (and some men) have a love hate relationship with their locks.  I really don't.  Mostly I just hate it.  You hear that hair?   EFF YOU.  You. Ain't Got Nothin. On Me!   

Back to the point.  Sometimes I lose my mind and I get the urge to grow it long again.  Somehow the length creeps furtively down the nape of my neck waiting for the millimeter at which it can finally strangle me....And I let it.  

If the Cheveux Cell of terrorism is all in my head.  And I'm not saying that it is.  There are other reasons why in my case less is often more.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...
And for anyone who hasn't seen me with long hair....

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