The Girl You Won't Take Home to Mama

What kind of world do we live in ?

Ma man Fiddy, Fiddy Cent is being sued for editing himself (complete with a Rick James wig) into another man's sex-tape. I'm not sure if you saw (or ignored) this on my Buzz. But I think it's worth revisiting. Take a second to ponder the state of American culture when

a. more Americans have sex-tapes than healthcare
b. a former king pin drug dealer wears a wig (without a pimp cane and a good backhand)
c. where a multi-millionaire-rapper edits himself into another mans sexual encounter instead of taping his own.
d. Curtis Jackson wears a wig.

Disturbing...but it gets worse. If you didn't read the article you don't know that Fiddy did in fact wear the wig to imitate Rick James....bitch! (for a photo comparison see photos 1 & 2) Or that Rick James (RIP) and 50 had some sort of musical feud. You also wouldn't know that Lastonia Levinston (the woman in the tape) is one of (yeah...one of) RJ's Baby Mama. I think we can add the fact that Rick James gets any as e to the above list.

In case you don't believe me? Just look at those breast! Really...Look. LaLa (as her friends like to call her) has his initials tattooed. on. her. chest. Front and center. So, the co-star of this straight to laptop movie had a not-so-good view from the top or the bottom or wherever.

Anyway LaLa is suing for defamation of character and image theft or something like that. I have to believe she'll lose. ~~After sexing Rick James you can only go up.~~ Actually, there is worse. (see photo 3)

Yo, click on that last picture, yo. I dare you.

Comments

Dear United Healthcare Insurance

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I graduated and you felt you had to leave me. But I never wanted to part ways with you. I need you in (and for) my life. I've been so sick, actually ill, all week. And while I would usually turn into your united-caring arms, I find myself alone. The pain has been unbearable. I want you back. I need you back. When we first got together I had no baggage, no pre-existing conditions. But now I'm older and life has matured me and I need you more than ever. But is the cost too high? What premium am I willing to pay for your undivided-extended coverage? The truth is I'll pay anything. Just don't deny me. Can you resist this face? Lots of love, Coping with Cobra after College

"On Losing" or "On Dating Down" or "On 'Jesus He is Not As Attractive As Her'"

I people watch. I am friends with people watchers. We watch people together. And sometimes we play games. In parks we see if people actually match their dogs. At cafes we look at couples and decide who is the loser and who is the winner. I'll define: The Loser: The person who is, for all shallow purposes, more attractive, probably smarter, and/or cooler. Also the one who has more friends. The Winner: The inferior of the pair who has somehow been blessed with money or a good heart or the psychotic break/blindness of their partner. You play this game long enough and you start to notice a trend. Girls lose so often and they lose bad. It gets so much more tragic when you move beyond the game. You begin to understand that this silly game is emblematic of life. You think of your friends who cry over losers (in this game winners). I mean guys who were, are, and will be, losers in life. And then with the slow, horrifying suspense of a nouvelle vague film you t...

The Big 2.3.

So, my birthday is next week (on the 23rd). And I've been known to do some strange things on that day: 20th. Beat a Spongebob Pinata in Washington Square Park. 16th. Walk the questionably safe Costa Rican beaches with AB and a drunk frat reject who kept dropping the N-bomb to the house of a complete stranger just because her name was Claudia too. 21st a. Find and a mannequin on the street outside of bar in Tribeca. 21st b. Play with the said mannequin. 21st c. Put money in a GoGo dancers g-string or corset. Does it make it less weird if I say that I knew her? What about the fact that I had never actually seen a Pastie before? I've also been know to do absolutely nothing. I guess it depends on the year. As you can see 21 was a good year. But I didn't get shit-faced because I've had a fake ID and heels (the typical requirement for clubs in ny) since I was 15. This year I think I'll have a p...

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