TMI Tuesday a little early: Anonymous Quotes I Will Never Reveal the Circumstances Under Which I Heard Them/ Quotes Whose Authors Need to Remain Anonymous

"Sometimes I think that guys just don't see things, like cellulite. Like those guys who are into voluptuous women er whatever. I just think. They must not see it"

Straight girl to straight girl, "I'm really into your ass. It's so perky. It's enormous. I just want to grab it. I don't even want to call it an ass. It's like a flank, a haunch"

"It helps if you play with my balls"

"Sometimes I have a problem with dingle-berries, they suck"

"My vagina itches"

"Yeah, it's really small. Like I didn't even realize until I saw more of them. The second time I was like oh wow this guys pretty well-endowed. But after a few more I was like...there's no way that I was just lucky that many times."

"I have to go to the bathroom. Can you put some headphones on or something?"

"I mean I like expect to have at least 2 orgasms"

"Her fake nail came off in his butt. Apparently, its not that abnormal for guys to like a finger or two in there."

"So everyone's really high on coke and shit and we get stopped by the cops. The two of them get arrested and they have like a good amount of drugs on them. So one of them somehow slips his cuffs and shoves the drugs up his ass...the other kid totally went down for possession."

Comments

"On Losing" or "On Dating Down" or "On 'Jesus He is Not As Attractive As Her'"

I people watch. I am friends with people watchers. We watch people together. And sometimes we play games. In parks we see if people actually match their dogs. At cafes we look at couples and decide who is the loser and who is the winner. I'll define: The Loser: The person who is, for all shallow purposes, more attractive, probably smarter, and/or cooler. Also the one who has more friends. The Winner: The inferior of the pair who has somehow been blessed with money or a good heart or the psychotic break/blindness of their partner. You play this game long enough and you start to notice a trend. Girls lose so often and they lose bad. It gets so much more tragic when you move beyond the game. You begin to understand that this silly game is emblematic of life. You think of your friends who cry over losers (in this game winners). I mean guys who were, are, and will be, losers in life. And then with the slow, horrifying suspense of a nouvelle vague film you t...

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What happens when you mix missed concerts, Pour House rejections, and AN's birthday? This was taken in Port Authority at 5:30 AM Saturday morning. Here is us eating breakfast. We'd been out all night but decided that the only thing that could make the night better was Atlantic City. To make a long story less long and way more amusing. We had open containers, in public. Which I totally thought was not that big of a deal because its port authority and port authority is like a third world country whose dictator has just been shanked. Plus, one would think that the NY equivalent of a mall cop would worry more about the pimps picking up runaways than the harmless 20 something, minding there own business, eating breakfast, who just so happen to be supremely drunk and have an open beer under their chair. Anyway, I may have mistakenly left one underneath the bench we were sitting on when we got up to check what time the bus was coming. We thought ...

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This has nothing to do with Nelly. RIP Nelly!...No as far as I know he's not dead. But he has been admitted to the land of the dead in my consciousness with DMX and JaRule which is the Gangsta's paradise of my middle school experience. Enter Kanye... So I've been lazy for a while. And its not because I didn't have anything to do and it's not because I was terribly busy. I'm not sure what the real balance is between living life and reflecting on it, but I honestly miss blogging when I don't do it. Some days, some things just inspire you. And today it was a chubby man jogging (laboriously) in a t-shirt that said "Tiny Tim's Donut Shop". I'd like to warn you here: This is not about that man. But more the idea of that man. The moments in life when you are so enraptured by something so hilariously minute that you feel the need to share that with others. The ironic, the ridiculous, the annoying. Those momen...

Are We There Yet?

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