Dear Drunk Guy I Didn't Have Sex With On Saturday...

You're kind of cool. I enjoy making out with you. But there are a few reasons why I'm glad we didn't do the nasty.

a. you never texted me back a couple of weekends ago.
b. you have some of the symptoms of an only child
c. last Sunday I saw a barrette (not mine) on your window sill.

signs of hope.

a. you danced to James Brown in your living room at 2 AM...that was one of the coolest things i've ever seen.
b. you sobered up pretty quickly
c. you don't snore.

maybe next time.

Also, Dear friend-of-a-friend who was hitting on me at the bar on Saturday. Don't worry, you weren't to forward. In fact, I had no idea you were gaming on me. So...welcome to friend zone.

Also random-guy-in-the-gray-hoodie who I ran away from by accident. Sorry about that, but you were boring and it was awkward and I on reflection I think I did us both a solid.

Also Hatian-cab driver, I'm sorry I was too drunk to properly close your door and that I that brought drunk-guy-i-didn't have sex with on saturday into your cab. I'm glad he didn't vom.

thank you all for your interesting vignettes.

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