Life Without Insurance

While, in the past few months, healthcare legislation has sky-rocketed through a democratic legislative branch it appears it may be slowing down. With the death of Senator Kennedy (RIP) beloved senator of Massachusetts and the election of a candidate from the evil empire, democrats have lost their super majority and what some believe to be hope for any real change to healthcare.

Now, it is often said that politics is personal. I get that. But since older generation got a lot of the heavy lifting done on my personal issues. The ones I've taken up kind of seem a little lackluster. Anywho...with the ringing in of the new year I became one of a rather large group of Americans without healthcare. What does this mean? Essentially I need a job or the immune system of a superhero. It means my $11.00 co-pay is now $180.00 for monthly medication. It means that doctors wont take me as a patient (that's right, wont take me, not even if I pay them).

Did you know that college graduates are among the largest group of individuals uninsured? Yeah, you did. Because most likely if you're reading this you've been there or you are there or your in grad school which means your not reading this anyway so I guess....wait where was I?

Right. I'm livin' on the edge! Fortunately I can apply for Cobra so the insurance company can continue to violate my parent's livelihood for another year or until I get a job. I should get one and not tell them....that'll show 'em...yeah...stick it to the man...although apparently thats insurance fraud and a felony and would probably just 'show' me where Oz was filmed and 'stick' me in a cell with only Bernice (my rough exterior-ed roommate with a heart of gold who used to trick before she kicked rayray to the curb) for protection.

Or is insurance fraud whitecollar? Does that sentence come with different accommodations like a duvet? I wonder if Martha donates..

Comments

Dear United Healthcare Insurance

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I graduated and you felt you had to leave me. But I never wanted to part ways with you. I need you in (and for) my life. I've been so sick, actually ill, all week. And while I would usually turn into your united-caring arms, I find myself alone. The pain has been unbearable. I want you back. I need you back. When we first got together I had no baggage, no pre-existing conditions. But now I'm older and life has matured me and I need you more than ever. But is the cost too high? What premium am I willing to pay for your undivided-extended coverage? The truth is I'll pay anything. Just don't deny me. Can you resist this face? Lots of love, Coping with Cobra after College

TMI Thursday: Hair Today....Gone Tomorrow

My waxist is a Nazi. And she has been carrying out illicit-amoral experiments on my nether region. You know that scene in The 40 Year-old Virgin , where Steve Carrell actually gets his chest waxed by a giggling asian beautician? Well, its true. Except she's an Indian version of satan with a price on my vagina's head (?!?). Perhaps a poor diction. Anywho...she sucks...but do you know what sucks more? The fact that I always take her back. There are few positions more awkward than having your legs behind your head on a table stolen from a gynecologist's office veiled with a thin piece of paper that sticks to your ass which is sweating in anticipation of the vaginal pain your body is about to shudder through. The only thing that can make this situation more awkward is being naked from the waist down and having a woman you barely know berate you for missing your scheduled appointment a month ago. The one you skipped because fe...

I'll Fight For You and I'd Die For You; Can't Type For You, Won't Lie to You.

Dear Athena, You are like a sister to me. And when I say sister, I don't mean, like, an actual sister, but I m ean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think. Despite lofty aspirations and the noblest of intentions it appears I won't write you daily emails like I promised I would. And I'm sorry. I'm working on it. I did google the cost of Chinese Rosetta Stone if that makes a difference. But you know what being perfect is like...(see below--figure 1 and 2). I just can't do it if it's not amazing... I've attached a photographic essay I found. You should really be more careful with your image on the internet. I know its a poor replacement for communication buy if it helps I've thought of 10 or so midly ignorant racial comments while writing this. I omitted them cause I'm growing and I love you and I think the Chinese government has been reading our emails. ...

Are We There Yet?

Search This Blog