The Girl You Won't Take Home to Mama

What kind of world do we live in ?

Ma man Fiddy, Fiddy Cent is being sued for editing himself (complete with a Rick James wig) into another man's sex-tape. I'm not sure if you saw (or ignored) this on my Buzz. But I think it's worth revisiting. Take a second to ponder the state of American culture when

a. more Americans have sex-tapes than healthcare
b. a former king pin drug dealer wears a wig (without a pimp cane and a good backhand)
c. where a multi-millionaire-rapper edits himself into another mans sexual encounter instead of taping his own.
d. Curtis Jackson wears a wig.

Disturbing...but it gets worse. If you didn't read the article you don't know that Fiddy did in fact wear the wig to imitate Rick James....bitch! (for a photo comparison see photos 1 & 2) Or that Rick James (RIP) and 50 had some sort of musical feud. You also wouldn't know that Lastonia Levinston (the woman in the tape) is one of (yeah...one of) RJ's Baby Mama. I think we can add the fact that Rick James gets any as e to the above list.

In case you don't believe me? Just look at those breast! Really...Look. LaLa (as her friends like to call her) has his initials tattooed. on. her. chest. Front and center. So, the co-star of this straight to laptop movie had a not-so-good view from the top or the bottom or wherever.

Anyway LaLa is suing for defamation of character and image theft or something like that. I have to believe she'll lose. ~~After sexing Rick James you can only go up.~~ Actually, there is worse. (see photo 3)

Yo, click on that last picture, yo. I dare you.

Comments

Dear United Healthcare Insurance

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I graduated and you felt you had to leave me. But I never wanted to part ways with you. I need you in (and for) my life. I've been so sick, actually ill, all week. And while I would usually turn into your united-caring arms, I find myself alone. The pain has been unbearable. I want you back. I need you back. When we first got together I had no baggage, no pre-existing conditions. But now I'm older and life has matured me and I need you more than ever. But is the cost too high? What premium am I willing to pay for your undivided-extended coverage? The truth is I'll pay anything. Just don't deny me. Can you resist this face? Lots of love, Coping with Cobra after College

The Big 2.3.

So, my birthday is next week (on the 23rd). And I've been known to do some strange things on that day: 20th. Beat a Spongebob Pinata in Washington Square Park. 16th. Walk the questionably safe Costa Rican beaches with AB and a drunk frat reject who kept dropping the N-bomb to the house of a complete stranger just because her name was Claudia too. 21st a. Find and a mannequin on the street outside of bar in Tribeca. 21st b. Play with the said mannequin. 21st c. Put money in a GoGo dancers g-string or corset. Does it make it less weird if I say that I knew her? What about the fact that I had never actually seen a Pastie before? I've also been know to do absolutely nothing. I guess it depends on the year. As you can see 21 was a good year. But I didn't get shit-faced because I've had a fake ID and heels (the typical requirement for clubs in ny) since I was 15. This year I think I'll have a p...

I Realize It's Wednesday But...

So Big C works on Irving Place and I used to always make him take me to this mediocre Chinese food place down the street. It was a sort of reparation for forcing me (an overweight, bookish, and oh-so-awkward) middle schooler to meet co-workers and bosses at his company and wait for hours..... hours for him to decide that he had worked enough for that day. I never fully understood why I liked this place so much. It's got this gaudy decor with garish chandeliers and faux-wood panelling. It's like those party venues which advertise on public access television and where you imagine the Gotti family has hosted every special occasion ever. Tonight I find myself heading back there with AB and co. But on my last visit (during the summer) I made a shocking revelation which would wondrously connect my current and middle-school self in some existential meaning-of-life way. Two words. Free wine. I've never been someone who's huge on going out of my way...

Are We There Yet?

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