Monday, July 5, 2010

Bye Bye Blackberry

January 1 2009:  Coke heads at a club in soho steal my blackberry.

March 2009:  I break a glass of water i put on my bedstand because im drunk after a night at Bob & Barbara's Thursday drag show.  My Blackberry sits in a small pool of water.. all night.

July 2010:  Phone?  Phone on white screen.  Phone off....push power.  black screen. push power.  vibrate, sputter, die.  black screen....WTF.

So I have no phone.

Well I mean I have one.  But it doesn't work.  And I'm on day two.  So the Crackberry withdrawal is lessening and I think I can handle other electronic media without tearing up.  But I want to say for the record that before my phone sung its swan song...I was BLOWIN' UP.  I was deep into my BB addiction and getting major male texting attention.

Alas, the universe works in mysterious ways.  And I think that after the 23rd time I explained things to myself with the phrase, "cause I'm a G" the universe got fed up.

The Good News:

I have no game.  Ok that's not fair.  Maybe I have nerd/bad/no-game that somehow becomes game.  Either way the real point is that I have impulse control issues.  I often say things/do things/text things  I probably shouldn't.  The thing is I don't understand the 'Rules of the Game'  and that coupled with spontaneity kind of makes it impossible for me to seem cool and collected with guys I am seeing.  So, what's the good news?  I have absolutely no choice but to not text.  Can't stop, won't stop has become can't text, don't text.  And from what I hear that is like game or something.   Plus lets be honest.   You are reading about a girl who actually uses gmail labs drunk email prevention has been an issue.

So, what better a night to have a phone die when you're one glass of white wine from a booty call/text.

On the other hand.  I hate game.  and would probably be upset if I hadn't gotten a call back by now.  But to be fair.  Its not like I have a choice.  Its not like a wanted my phone to become an obsolete, water-absorbent piece of shit.  Like I said, I can't text.  In fact I may not even have your number when I do get a new phone.   Which brings me to

The Bad News:

I may not even have your number when I do get a new phone.  I may have blacked out then AND NOW (because of the untimely death of my BB) I may have missed out on what I or you drunkenly said.

I mean if you don't hear from someone for a week that's when you're supposed to like 'get the point', right?   But hey! that's not the point.  The point is my phone is effed and now you're gone forever unless there is a miracle worker at the verizon store who can turn water to wine, which I think is the level of skill necessary to extract any data off a Verizon phone that's effed.

K maybe this is more bad news than I thought

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