Friday, April 9, 2010

My Television is a Fucking Republican

I recently accused my ex-boyfriend of being a republican.  I suppose it's easy to demonize ex bfs but that wasn't the case.

Wait.  Some background.

Big C calls me John McCain as an insult.
I protested child labor in front of the Disney store...when I was 9.

But don't get me wrong.  I'm no dirty-hippy-organicly-grown-on-my-roof-top-brooklynette (shout out to Jersey Shore for inspiring that last word).  Whining-useless-activist-intellectuals annoy me as well.  Don't just bitch.  Do something.

It's almost amazing to me how close-minded both extremes can be.  With no idea and no interest in maybe...I dunno....seeing a ray of legitimacy or exhibiting a ray of understanding to another point of view.

That being said.  I'd take a wack-job chaining himself to a tree over the Manson-mailers sending death threats to democratic politicians...over healthcare...really?!? health care?!?  There are so many things inherently wrong with that situation I'm not going to even try to analyze that.

The point is...my television and possibly my ex bf (he made some arguments contrary but the jury is still out) are fucking Republican.  My television has clearly chose the right (but oh-so-wrong) side of the aisle.

But how do I know, you ask?

Woke up one day.  Got some Honey Nut Cherrios in a bowl.  Sat down on the livingroom couch to watch CNN.  Turn the TV on.  It's Fox News.  maybe its a fluke...maybe the cable box was left on...maybe I didn't actually turn it on. (still begs the question of who in my household was watching Fux News. But ok.)  Turn off cable box.  Turn on cable box.  Fox News.  Turn off.  Turn on.  Fox News.  Off.  On.  Fox....WHAT. THE. FOX.   *cue twilight zone music*

In case some of you are thinking...oh well obviously your television has been programmed by someone by accident to make Fux 5 your starter channel  (what happened to the good ol' days of channel 3 or sometimes 2 in weird places like the holiday inn airport hotel).

No.

Parents room.  on.  Fox News.
Dad's Office. on. Fox News.
Guest Room on. Fox News.

What is going on???  Where is NY1???

So in summation my televisions or cable boxes or cable company or sick sick sick prank playing cable guy or my ex bf (a person of interest in this conspiracy) are republican.  One or all of these things are my conclusion.

In case you need an example of why this is a bad thing...why Fox News is so effin bad.  There are many.  It's the number one news network (as in, it informs the most Americans on political happenings) and it doesn't give a fuck about fact checking.  It's baffling and is also humorous when it isn't just sad.  But if you need a fantastic example...please.  please watch this.


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Big Bang Treaty
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


 Also...Glenn Beck?  'nuff said.

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