The Miraculous Life And Adventures Of Lion The Dog Next Door

So I haven't blogged in a while. Don't worry. I'm alive. I've been busy. And I wont try to recap on what happened in one post...because it doesn't work. I've tried. But future posts will include inappropriate texting, Sleeping on club bed-couches in hurricane like rains, two-day birthday parties and my first bachelorette party. Anyway, I'll start with this morning.

I had my day planned out. I woke up naturally at around 730 and by 735 the phone starts ringing off the hook. My thought: How does she KNOW. And I get in the shower only to get out again and answer my mom's question of 'whether Dad' has found his keys. He has.

Back to the shower.

Five minutes later.

Phone Ring. Phone Ring. Phone Ring. RIIIIINNNNGGG....DOOR. BELL. RIIINNNG.

Apparently the handy men are here.

30 mins later.

One of the men are out in front on the phone with my mom....who is whispering instructions on her cell phone from her work desk. I'm eating breakfast and watching Lebron replays on ESPN and....BOOM...

Fred (handy-man) must've closed the trunk to my Mom Camry.

Fred walks in. A sheepish new neighbor from next door is outside.

Fred: Ummm....Claudia?
Me: yeah, what's up. I don't know anything...ask Haratia...can't a woman sleep, shower, eat breakfast and watch LeBron kick Celtic-ass in peace...can't a girl even watch Canadian Hockey clips in peace!?!
Fred: Did you hear that boom? The neighbors dog fell off the roof onto Haratia car and broke the back window.
Me: What!?!?! From the 5 story roof of our house?
Fred: yeah.
*Pause*
Me: What?...Is it....Is it?
Fred: It's alright...It's playing with Chance.
Me: It fell 5 stories onto a steel car...and its fine?
Fred: yeah.

So yeah....a dog fell off my roof this morning, shattering the back window of my Mom's car and denting the roof into the back seat and survived, unharmed.

Haratia was pissed. Apparently the previous tenants have broken her back windshield before (though not as creatively with their house pet)

Question?

What was the dog doing on the roof? Will my neighbor pay for the damages? How does one file an insurance claim for free-falling dogs?...The world may never know.

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